Unhidden love - I want that too

I’ve been sort of single now for the past 4 months after a long 4 years together. It was a weird relationship but I enjoyed certain moments of it. We were semi-private so there were certain things we couldn't do in public, like hold hands, look at each other compassionately, go to the theatre, never went to the ballet, when we hung out in public it was always as friends so we kept it all friendly in that sort of way.


This past week had me thinking about a lot of things about my life, I have a silly habit of getting into agreements that alter what I think of life, love and relationships, also editing Phumlani's article on love for JHBSTREETMAG hit home with me.

I'm about to fully experience being single, i'm not even afraid of that as I was when I broke things off, i've let go of the past relationship and its conditions and for the next relationship if it happens, I don't want what I had with my ex,

• I want to experience love in all it's glory.

• I want to be able to hold on to them when I'm at a mall and freaking out because of too many people.

• I want to dress up, go to the ballet and theatre to watch a performance or two.

• I want to love fully and be loved with the same passion.

• I want that person that will understand that i'm not perfect and never will be...


• I want to be the first thing someone thinks about in the morning when they wake up and the last thing they think about before they sleep.

• I want those lunch dates, those, sweet texts and those random calls.

• I want to be able to send texts, make those after a long day calls just to share moments experienced.

• I want to be a normal girl, get told how beautiful I am, even when I’m at my lowest or when I feel like death.


• I want that shopping partner, who hates going to malls but will do it anyway because they love you.

• I want to spend a saturday indoors enjoying each other’s company with no care to what the rest of the world is up to.

• I want to experience a soccer/ cricket game not because I love the game but because I love the person who loves those games.

After the last relationship I have realized that I am too much of a girl. There are things I want and there are things I don't want, I know however that I want that Unhidden love, that "how is your crazy self doing today kind of love"

With the past relationship we spent too much time keeping it private, dealing with frustrations, pretending to be just friends, managing the terms and conditions that came with the union and less time enjoying the moments with each other.

I want that relationship where people know of us but know nothing about us...