Friday, May 17, 2013

Kelly Rowland's "Dirty Laundry" - a musical tale of dreams and an abusive relationship

Wow this song is deep. I am however noticing the people are taking from it more about the little sisterly competitive spirit thing with Beyonce, more then they are about her abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend.


The song was co-written but fully produced by American singer, songwriter and producer The-Dream, I like the song because it is an open statement of what a women went through, she shares her darkest experience, being in an abusive relationship, and sure feeling a bit of envy for an industry sister who was and is not dealing with abuse.

We forget that an abused women becomes more private, stays away from the public and does little to no public appearances at all, for Kelly as she was already a public figure was clearly affecting her creativity, music, brand and business lifestyle...

Can't we take from that? Rather then nit-pick at the so called "confession of jealousy toward Beyonce" ? Clearly media stops at nothing to get papers sold.









[Chorus]
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out
When you make pain look this good it never wears out
This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry

[Verse 1]
While my sister was on stage, killing it like a motherf-cker
I was enraged, feeling it like a motherf-cker
Bird in a cage, you would never know what I was dealing with
Went out separate ways, but I was happy she was killing it
Bittersweet, she was up, I was down
No lie, I feel good for her, but what do I do now?
Forget the records
Off the record, I was going through some bullshit
Post-survivor, she on fire, who wanna hear my bullshit?
Meanwhile, this nigga putting his hands on me
I swear y’all don’t know the half of this industry

[Chorus]
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out
When you make pain look this good it never wears out
This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry

[Verse 2]
And it’s almost been a decade
I’m behind them black shades
Roll up like it’s all good, right up out that escalade
Fix my make-up, “get it together, Kelly, get it together”
Then we make up, “well get it together, nigga, get it together”
Kinda lucky, I was in her shadow
Phone call from my sister, “what’s the matter?”
She said, “Oh no, baby - you gotta leave!”
I’m on the kitchen floor - he took the keys
I was mad at everybody, I mean everybody
Yeah, her, her, her her everybody
Five years later, I got my shit down pat
Think I had it good, and they don’t know how bad
Fooled everybody, except myself
Soaking in this hurt, bathing in the dirt

[Chorus]
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out
When you make pain look this good it never wears out
This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry

[Verse 3]
So here I am in the spin cycle
We’re comin and we’re goin
Nobody can know this
And I was trapped in his house, lyin’ to my mama
Thought it could get no worse as we maximize the drama
Started to call them people on him
I was battered
He hittin the window like it was me, until it shattered
He pulled me out, he said, “Don’t nobody love you but me
Not your mama, not your daddy and especially not Bey”
He turned me against my sister
I missed ya

[Chorus]
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry
When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out
When you make pain look this good it never wears out
This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Blah... Totally unfashionable

So this is what I have been wearing for the past few weeks... I always forget to upload this stuff, yes you care what I wear. So this is it, and yes I am not as fashionable as these "Look of the Day" bloggers out there.

I'm lame like that...
#ThugLife










Monday, May 13, 2013

I hate Mother's Day...

I hate that the Friday before Mother's Day weekend I'd go shopping for supplies.
I hate that Mother's Day was a big deal for me and my siblings,
I hate that my brothers would help me cook on Mother's Day
I hate that my little brother would make "special" coffee for Mother's Day

I hate that when I got to uni, I'd leave for Mother's Day weekend,
I hate that I had family to spend Mother's Day with,
I hate that Mother's Day was such an elaborate affair at my house,

I hate that for the past 3 years I've only had memories of the best Mother's Days I've shared with the only women I truly loved...


Now I am left with a bitter sweet taste on how I never had the chance to give her all that she deserved...


All in all I hate Mother's Day for the memories that create shadows within my heart....


R.I.P - LMM I loved you and I hurt you... I'm sorry and I need you still.


Thursday, May 2, 2013

Living on borrowed BS - The X and her X - A Possible Threesome

Have you ever sat down and looked at yourself through the frontal camara of an iPad mini? ...

That's me, I spent most of the night looking into the FaceTime camera of my iPad mini (I was too lazy to go to the mirror) and ended up tweeting "FUCK MY LIFE". I swear on my sexy pair of Aldo's, I'm a Thug dressed up as a lady. The shit that went down yesterday was not even close to funny, I blame the PMS, I totally become a beast, and beast is an understatement, call it RATCHET, yes that's the best name for it all. See I grew up with a lady for a mother, she had her spicy moments but they were never as spicy as my moments are.... Like I'm probably hot spicy Indian atcha/batcha or better yet those nando's hot as flame wings that you cry while you're eating, yep that's me...

Anyway the victim to my latest tirade was the ex... I totally went ninja on her ass with frustration, and no I don't hit people nor do I give beat-downs, I'm still a lady remember, A spicy one to that but I'm still a lady...

So ye me and the x misses have been on some other level of "WTF" since the break up, we totally rub each other up the wrong way, but are also awesome as a duo for some projects. I'm supposed to be in Jozi but the love of my life, yes her, sorta got on my last tit about something and I went cray.

She doesn't know what she wants and sometimes when I'm sick of things, I also don't know what I want, but with that in mind, when we were a pair i never eff'd around, I didn't entertain any BS nor did I drag around my past (Boody call) into the fold, like I'm totally a commitment sorta chick, a total ride or die lover. Not even needy coz I have way too much work on my hands to fiddle around, so I cut ties with anything that might create BS with me and the main game, zoom in on her when I need to and zoom out when work calls, simple math really. Even when I had a crush on some other chic she knew about it (open book sorta stuff)

Baby kept getting caught with her hand in a digital cookie jar like 3 times and yes I went buck, totally messed up BUCK on her and we sorted ish out, always. Mara after we both were like "aaah na, you need to sort yourself out STAT, I'm out", baby started playing around with her freedom and I was like cool what ever, coz her and I still hook up. (she's my weakness, shoot me, I don't care) anyway back to my hissyfit, the thing about baby is that she has polygamist tendencies, look I'm all for that, I know for a fact that no one women can please all the needs of another. BUT ALL I ASK FOR SHIT LIKE THAT IS HONESTY, like I want a person to be open about their intentions " like hey, so I'm sorta "chilling" with Wendy on the side, she reminds me of our past" or " hey I'm sorta feeling Lebo' right now, she gives me cute vibes", by all means crack that cookie jar, but LET ME KNOW ABOUT, coz I hate having to find out about such foolery by myself.

To be honest, I'm not perfect either, I'm unrealistic, I make unrealistic demands and I expect them to be met.... It's as messed up as I can mentally allow myself to think about it... Hell it's actually flippant how crazy I get about what I want, when I want it and how I want it.

Also TBH... I want baby. Simple, fucked up, twisted and totally nyols but ye I like baby... Might as well while-out with a threesome... Me, her & her ex.
Someone needs to slaughter a cow for my lame ass now that I think about it...

I swear my ancestors are burning herbs somewhere...

FUCK MY LIFE


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Truth and lies vs lies and truth - hate speech


I hate that I no longer believe you..
I hate the fact that I see no truth in you
I hate the fact that every time you say certain things
I roll my eyes subconsciously

I hate the fact that I spent a good amount of years believing you.
I hate the fact that I spent a good amount of years dedicated to your lies.
I hate the fact that I spent a good amount of time falling for you.
I hate the fact that I spent a good amount thinking that what we had was a lifetime...

I hate your truth because it is no longer my truth
I hate your story because it is no longer my story
I hate your personality because it is no longer connected to me

I hate the games you play because through them I have realized I was never that much a part of you, but more of the rebound interaction that took on an emotional level of intimacy.


I hate that I no longer believe you..
I hate the fact that I see no truth in you..


What i am left with now is one thing and at some point i thought it would break my heart to think of you in such light....


I no longer believe in you and your words, and I wish I could find a way to cut the memory of you out of my memory bank.... This way ill never know that you belong to your lost love and never was in any way linked to me.

I wish at this point our paths never met... And if they had I wish our friendship was merely an acquaintance.